Serving food is easy. Keeping your dignity when you’re peppering Matt Damon’s salad is what’s hard.

Hey kids!

I know it’s been a while since I’ve blogged, but so many things have been going on, i really didn’t have a chance to sit down and go over it all. It seems that June and July flew by so fast!
When I first got laid off, I thought that i would be sitting at home, completely bummed out with nothing to occupy my time; having a third shift job kept me from enjoying to many events and parties that I didn’t realize how fast my social calendar would actually fill up! Over the past month and a half, i have found that I have been double and triple booked more than once… it really is a wild ride this summer.

So, without further rambling (yeah, right) – Here we go.

I am sitting at a laundry mat, my first chance in three weeks to get there. I knew there was a reason why i had so many clothes, and this actually justifies it. I figured out that I have enough ‘essentials’ to go about 4 weeks without needing to wash a single item; does that make me smart, or weird?

What real topics do we have for you this time, my dear reader? Well let’s just see, shall we?

I am officially in love. Yes! I know, I know. It seems like it just came from out in left field, and smacked me in the head… I mean, you guys know how much of a roller coaster it had been with Tom and I in the past; it seemed unlikely to everyone involved that it would develop into anything, let alone a match. Well, things seemed to have changed in the past month or so. He and I have learned a lot about each other. While we have a TON of differences, both in social and mental aspects, I think the ying/yang theory comes into play. The things we have in common pull us together, and the differences seem to initiate a banter that usually creates an exciting debate; almost a ‘challenge’, which I think makes a relationship exciting. I am not sure at what point it all clicked in, but I am really glad it did.
On that note, it’s been changing me a bit. I have found a new interest in ‘nesting’ a bit. i actually ENJOY staying in on my nights free; I PREFER to have a nice dinner at home and a movie with Tom than, say, a full 7 hours of drinking. It’s weird, because it really made me examine WHY I actually went out all those years. For the most part, I sincerely thought that I went out every weekend just to see friends and to enjoy the people watching. Now that I am in a relationship, I have realized that I was subconsciously filling in the ‘gap’ that I lost when Donn and I broke up. Little things that I used to take for granted or didn’t even realize existed have taken the place of sitting at fluid for 5 hours. For example, I never noticed how fulfilling it was to sit and watch mindless tv; it’s not because of the TV itself – it’s because Tom is there cuddled up next to me. We make cute dinners, we rent movies. It feels right.
Take yesterday for example. Tom’s friend Suzie invited us out to a tailgating/Brewer game/Party thing, because she is going to grad school and wanted to have a good send off. Normally, baseball wouldn’t be my thing; in fact, I usually avoid Miller Park and all that goes with it – but for whatever reason, I was looking forward to it. It’s like Tom, or the relationship aspect in general, gives me the feeling that I want to do *more* with my life than just sit at the bars or watch people move on with their lives, you know?

So, anyway, I did want to take a minute to define something: 1 4 3. 143. Now, before I met Tom, I knew the little codes that we all used to use in the early stages of text messaging/pager days; there was ‘411′ and ‘911′ and ‘187′ (more info, callback NOW, I’m gonna kick your ass, respectively). This new one, ‘143′ was new to me, and I didn’t really think about it being a code. Well, in this case, 1 4 3 is the count of letters in 3 words: I LOVE YOU. Now, when I first got that from his as a message, I melted. He is such a private person when it comes to sharing feelings, it seemed like a really big step for him. I didn’t realize how hard it was for him to even say that, let alone FEEL it. I do know that it really put things into perspective for me, and I am glad we are ‘back’ to being together.
If you haven’t been paying attention to my blog in the past, you wouldn’t know this, but we did break up twice. I broke up with him over the dated ideal that age mattered. He broke up with me a couple months later for reasons he still can’t fully explain; I blame it on the insecure feelings we all get when something gets too intense. Whatever the case, we have been going strong for a few weeks now, and I am really hoping it lasts. I am eager to grow with him and see how his career path takes him; I also hope that one day we can move forward and potentially find a place together. As much as I love Fluid and living above it, I know that unless I plan on being alone with 6 cats, there is no way that I could live there the rest of my days.

On to the next topic: LaCage.
Ok, so let’s talk about some of the drama and such that’s been going on. I have always held the position that it’s not really my place to talk about the complete inner workings and success/fails of the business itself, because I respect the owners and know it is not my place to talk about it.

So instead, I will talk about all the drama that’s been happening directly to me and such.
First of all, the food. I have to say that I am VERY impressed with the food that has been coming out of the kitchen. I can’t say that I am COMPLETELY non-biased by the fact that the cook is a friend, but I can say that I have been sober almost every time I have eaten there. Using that logic, let me tell you that I think they found a great combination of bar-style food and convenience. The food is fast, the tastes are worth the price, and the variety has something for everyone.
That being said, I think that service is the only fault. Most nights, there is a lack of distinction as to who the waiter actually is, and there seems to be a low level of professionalism. I attribute more of this to the fact that its after bar, and many of the patrons are fairly drunk. I would really like to see a dedicated staff person to this venture, and much more advertising. I have also noticed that there is an abnormal amount of stress applied to the bartenders and barbacks during this time; the focus for them gets split between the food and their normal duties.
The reason I mention the faults in this case is because, well, since I am unemployed and not limited to when I need to actually be in bed, I had been lending a hand. This assistance was welcomed with open arms by the cook and waiter who was working, as the few times that I did help, they were slammed with orders.
The apprehension I ran into came from the bar backs. We are entering into pure drama here, so please skip this if you want to avoid rolling your eyes; it is pretty ridiculous.
I was helping Drew take out orders, and clarifying with the customers as to who paid and who needed which items. All was going smooth; I have 10 years of serving experience, so i was fairly confident as to what I was doing.
At the end of my self-appointed shift, I was approached by [nameless] who claimed to be the head bar back. He pulled me aside, and proceeded to tell me that I was completely out of line for helping out.
Apparently I was ‘taking a job away’ from someone who was supposed to be providing that function. When I retorted that the person who was *supposed* to be doing the job was occupied with other duties, I was told that if there was a failure to be had, that I should have ‘let it happen’. I stood there, dumbfounded that this conversation was even happening.
First of all, this did NOT come from management; it was not an authorized declaration. Second, WHY would you allow someone to fail like that? I mean, I get the idea that he wants to show that things aren’t getting done, but, really, that shouldn’t affect the customer’s EXPERIENCE. They don’t need to sit and wait because someone isn’t doing the job, especially when someone else IS available to get it done!
I don’t know if that makes much sense, because I think I rambled a bit – but basically it comes down to this: I was there, I got the job done, and the company made money. The customers got their intended level of service, and I relieved a stressful situation all around. Why the hell should I be getting ‘reprimanded’ for that, by someone who had no autority to do so?

Whatever the case, I have made the conscious decision that in order to avoid further ‘confrontations’, I am just going to avoid helping.

On a completely positive note, LaCage has a BRAND NEW A/C unit! It’s cool and comfortable.. I love it!

The job hunt has been going… slowly. I haven’t really found many bites, so I have resorted to plan b; I entered my hat into the consulting ring. This is not really where I wanted to go with my career path, but it will ensure that I have that much more in my favor. They always have companies floating across their desk that need temp-to-full employees, and, while they get a percentage of the paycheck, it should be transparent to me. The problem I see with this is only that it’s not a guaranteed position. There is a strong likelihood that they will be contract assignments that only last 6-8 months at a time. Not something I look forward to, but it does pay the bills.

As far as my social life? Well, I can tell you it has been filled as of late. Dinners, brunches, parties… it seems like there isn’t a day available to just sit and do nothing. Between Tom and I, we have been almost constantly on the go. I like it, but sometimes I really wish I had a job so I could just be all, ‘no, i have to work’. LOL.

Tom has been dropping less than subtle hints that he is getting mildly annoyed by my smoking. I know that he’s never been a fan, as BJ and others. I just, really, never had the urge to truly quit. I know that I have been smoking more than usual, but I attribute that to the simple fact that I am not working and have no incentive to pace myself. With work, at least, I am in an environment where I have to segment my time. I can’t go smoke whenever I want, and I am keeping busy. Now, since I am not working and have been doing so many outdoor activities, there really isn’t much stopping me. Really the only thing that makes me want to quit is so that I don’t feel guilty about having bad breath when I kiss Tom.

As of late, I just completed a BOOK! Yes! Billie is getting his creative juices flowing again.
If you would like to take a look (or order one) – http://www.cafepress.com/billiehawkins.290684105

Synopsis:

The relationship that develops between a bartender and his patrons can be as varied as cocktail ingredients. Often times, banter and humor is briefly shared over a cold one.But what if a patron’s proximity to the bar changed the dynamic? In this book, our bartender, Don Johnson, and customer, Billie Hawkins, share a unique element to the typical relationship: Billie lives upstairs from a gay bar. This proximity affords a unique ability to share memories and experiences “after bar-time” that would not normally be seen by your typical customer. These memories are shared with you in the form of after bar notes left on the stairway.

OK, so I think I am up to like 4 pages; at this point, I will give your eyes a rest and chat you all up soon!

~ by Billie Hawkins on August 11, 2008.